Hey guys, I hope you're doing well and your 2017 is off to a great start. So...where in the world have I been and why have I been so quiet on Instagram and YouTube?? This will probably be a lengthy post...it's just gonna be a bit of a brain dump, so thank you in advance for taking the time to read it and for sticking with me. Love you guys ♡
It's been 3 weeks since I posted to IG (until last night) and more than a month since my last proper YouTube video, which feels like a lifetime! I kind of coasted through November and December because the Coraline video was still doing so well, which I was definitely not expecting, but was so grateful for. I always have a hard time making videos during the holiday season. But I'm glad people have been enjoying it! I've thought a lot about what I would say when I made my first post in so long...I've gone to post a couple times prior, but it's like I was almost afraid to post because it had been so long, I didn't know what to say...but if I'm being totally honest, though, one of the main reasons is I just didn't really feel like posting. And that makes me feel kinda bad, but I didn't want to post just for the sake of posting, ya know? Which isn't great for YouTube as far as earning money goes, but...that's how I felt. I have so many new lipsticks to swatch for you guys, a lot of videos on my list, things to make...but that'll come in time :)
The second reason is that at the end of 2016/beginning of 2017, I decided I wanted to move my handmade shop off of Etsy and onto its own website. And...that's pretty much all I've been working on this entire month. The actual website is just about ready to go, but I'm still working on inventory so I can have it stocked up a bit before I launch it. Hoping to launch by the end of the month, possibly early February. If you have no idea what I'm talking about haha, other than doing makeup, I love to crochet and knit, and I have a little shop called Courtney Little Handmade where I sell things I make (like beanies, stuffed animal toys, phone sleeves, blankets, scarves, etc.). I've tried a couple times in the past to get something started, but then I would lose interest. But I feel like now is my time, I'm taking it a lot more seriously, and I really want to make it work! I've been having a lot of fun making things, especially over the past few months since Halloween. If you're interested in that sort of thing, you can follow that IG account: @courtneylittlehandmade and/or subscribe to the newsletter: www.courtneylittlehandmade.com.
Another little reason is that I've been having some issues with one of my eyelids being super dry and weird, which could just be winter-related, but I want to get that checked out before I put any makeup on it. Unless I'm doing something that involves me leaving the house, I haven't been wearing Any makeup, which A) I haven't done in forever, and B) I think has been really great for my skin. I've gotten some awesome PR packages already this year/end of last year, but I just haven't really been doing makeup..so...yes. I usually unbox/swatch on Snapchat, though, so you can always add me on there (courteylittlej). I haven't been snapping a ton, but every once in a while I feel like snapping everything haha. I wasn't really using IG stories when I wasn't posting, but I may start putting unboxings and stuff on there again :)
As for YouTube - I have a lot on my mind about this [edit: this section is taking me forever to get done haha...I kept adding things in, so hopefully it doesn't feel too jumbled up]. I don't know if there are any other creators out there that feel the same, I'm sure there are plenty...but it's like when you're going and on a roll putting out content and posting all the time, it's so great and fun, but then...when you stop, even for like a week, it's so tough to get back going again. Maybe it depends partially on the kind of videos you do as well. Creativity ebbs and flows, sometimes we feel uninspired or creatively blocked or drained, unhappy with the content we've been putting out, and we fall into a rut. And as with a lot of other creators and artists, it all started out of fun, to share with others something we love. I want to remember the feeling - the first time I clicked the upload button 6 1/2 years ago. I want to find it and bring it back into my makeups and videos. YouTube has changed so much in the past few years, and I think I'm just feeling a bit lost at the moment. And it's not that I don't enjoy doing makeup or making videos anymore...it just feels different...more like work (which makes sense). Sure, it's my job, I need to make money to pay my bills. But I have to remember that I love doing it. I love creating. That's how it all started in the first place. If I forget and just get caught up in the numbers game, which everyone does at some point, then why am I doing it? Not literally, just meaning I need to take a beat to think and reset - and then that begs the question, do you really even love it anymore if you have to keep reminding yourself? And I suppose that's for the individual creator to think about.
This year I want to focus on me. Creating things that I love, whether it be makeup, handmade, or other types of projects. I really want to get into more videography as well, not really sure what kind or how to start, but we'll see what I do this year. I got a second camera as well (just one model up from my current one, so I have a Canon t5i and a t6i now), so there are more possibilities for all kinds of videos! The other thing I'm planning on doing this year is getting rid of my little second channel that I started last...year..I think? At the time, I thought it would be nice to have if I wanted to post more personal videos, knitting/crochet videos, and just other random videos. I posted 2 videos on that channel. And now...it just seems silly for me. If I want to post more of a lifestyle-type video, day in the life, a diy or anything other than a makeup tutorial...I'll post it to my main channel. That may not be the popular vote, and that's fine. Each video would be labeled, so those who don't want to watch it could just wait for the next one. I feel like there are a lot of YouTubers (or even those who want to Start a channel) that feel pressured to define exactly what their channel's 'theme' is/will be, and if they stray from that kind of content people are going to 'get mad'. But to that, I say...who cares (to an extent)? Give it a theme if YOU want to. Change it. Change it again. Add to it. It's Your channel. Of course you want to create something that your viewers will enjoy, but at the end of the day, you need to be happy. I think the happier you are, the better/more enjoyable the content will be, and people will recognize that and be able to connect with you more. It should be expected that you may just change as the years go by, and as you change and grow, chances are your channel will too. And that's good. People may leave, and that's fine too. It's bound to happen I think. Everyone changes, and that's just the way the cookie crumbles. Find what makes you happy, and do it. Don't be afraid to Not be doing something everyone else is doing. I found this quote on google, not sure who said it, but I want to remember it as I go through this year and for the rest of my life:
| I'm not here to fit into your world, I'm here to create my own.
This will be a new chapter, and I'm excited. Even though I'm feeling a little lost with YouTube right now, my head is in a pretty good spot. Ready to take on new things and tweak the old if need be. I hope you are too. I do miss you guys, and me not posting doesn't have anything to do with you all. I'm so thankful for you guys that continue to stick with me through the years. I really appreciate you. Thank you ♡
Other random life updates at the moment:
- I started a bullet journal a couple weeks ago, and I'm really enjoying it! Got a really cool skeleton notebook from Cognitive Surplus: https://www.etsy.com/listing/480613584/skeleton-softcover-notebook-dot-grid
- I'm obsessed with Troye Sivan's 'Blue Neighborhood' and Panic At The Disco's 'Death of a Bachelor'. Ob-sessed.
- I got a new computer! I haven't edited any video on it yet, but I'm really looking forward to it!
- My yarn stash is growing, and it makes me happy. My storage shelves are almost full, and I just ordered about 20 more skeins the other day........
- I haven't worked out at all so far this year, but that needs to change. Anyone else?
- Can't think of anything else, so I guess that's it!
If you stuck it out till the end, thanks for reading the ramblings of my mind. I hope to see you again soon. THIS - blogging, is actually something I want to try to be more consistent with too....I'm pretty sure I said that last year tho 😂 Maybe some favorites posts (which, I still owe you one...I'll do that before January ends hopefully), and I meant to do this last year as well...but posts for different makeups/videos/series. I've never been a good blogger, but I'm gonna try this year! Anyway. Thank you again. I hope you're all doing well, let me know what you've been up to, and I will be back on YouTube soon! ♡